the louis to your clark

its funny how you "outgrew me"
when we barely met
thought you saw right through me
just some space cadet
but do you know what threw me?
while crying and upset
told me i must improve things
pickled in a fret
all about the smoothing
your ego like a pet
i needed your approving
made my body sweat
thought that i had to prove things
had to ace the test
but now i know you'd use things
striking with your threats

i was the louis to your clark
you were the clyde to my bonnie
but we were lost inside the dark
not even invisibility saw me
you made your mark in my heart
lukewarm and kind of balmy
but our romance lost its spark
and confusion came in crawling

i do care for you still
i wish you all the luck
crucified on heavens hill
to remove you from the muck
i wish to you no ill will
dont mind my verbal vice
i hope you live a life fulfilled
i hope you find a wife
that will teach you all skills
keep you doing right
i know now i was not your type
its all right i lost the fight
i see now god has a different plan
to keep us in his life

perfect pin

promised i'd never fall again
i knew that i had found a friend
i promised it was all at end
strong enough not to bend
but sometimes i walk out on a limb
it breaks and i start falling in
in darkness i end up calling him
knocked over i'm just a fallen pin
bowling balls keep crawling in
i feel like i'm appalling him
hate that i'm applauding sin
frown pasted on my joyful grin
but i cant listen to feelings dim
they keep the holes from filling in
mistakes don't make me a slave to sin
with HIM i am a perfect pin

/////////////
part of learning how to walk is falling. when a baby first takes its steps, it often falls. eventually this baby learns how to walk! as a newb to christianity i feel like a failure. i find myself doing things i know i should NOT be doing or just plain sucking all together. the beautiful thing about this all is knowing that NO MATTER how dark my cloud gets the sun will always shine through. gods love is so amazing that i can't fathom how or why he still cares. i make a mockery of him and he STILL wants me back! he wants me even when i fall and deny him like peter. i am a joke but god see's the great potential in me and wants it. i don't get it! i am rubbish and i do not deserve this grace..but god does not want or need a bunch of perfect robots to share his light with the world.. he needs BROKEN, CRAZY, AND GENUINE people who are WILLING. when we are able to understand how imperfect we are god is able to use us. i will flat out admit that i wonder why god still has faith in me! i am so not ideal, so not standard.. but his grace is sufficient ENOUGH! he doesn't need perfection he needs people who want to walk in HIS direction despite their fears. sometimes we may fall but there is NOTHING that says we are unworthy of jesus. he is always ready to use us even when we abuse his trust. he is always willing.. i don't care if your smoking crack or giving your body to strangers.. he still loves you and wants to use you. when we realize god still loves us JUST the way we are.. that is when we truly start turning away from sin and walking into him.

he accepts us (as we are)
we believe (because of this sensational unconditional love)
than we follow ( him.. and his will for us)

NOT

we believe
follow
THAN he accepts us


remember, god has no conditions. you can not earn his love.. it is a gift. he love's you with every inch of his being, he loves you the way you are. he wants to help you grow..

i am a raging screw up and JESUS LOVES ME AND HAS A PLAN FOR ME! this is so liberating. i cant even describe the hope i feel...

wow
i am going to make it because of god.. i can breathe now because i know HE IS GOING TO GET ME OUT.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31

GOD loves us EXACTLY the way we are..but he loves us WAY too much to let us stay that way.

dig not the doubt

drawing colors
in my clouds
playing fiddles
ocean sounds
warm wind touch me
run out loud
wishing fountain
make me proud
not bitter pride
the kind you shout
dream sand castles
not short nor stout
the impossible is here
i don't dig doubt

..............



the taste of sin was so sweet but i had to leave that path behind. why? the longer i walked it the more of a maniac i became. sin and selfish exploits lead to the foothills of self addiction. i was a junkie to a drug called 'me'. i became the center of a universe where i was the only one who mattered. this was a tragic loveless tale that made me feel so bitter, cold, and empty. i felt like a robot who was being wound up by the devil himself. i could barely recognize myself in the mirror sometimes because the eyes in my reflection reflected nothing. the funny thing is, this path of sin was so glittery and fun at first until it became the norm. it was a fact that i was a slave. it was a fact that i lacked self control, love for others, and love for self. it was a fact that i had no future. my life was a miserable loop of ME ME ME letdown after letdown. the glitter faded and was replaced with the dust of death. i looked around and saw i was surrounded by other corpses and other lifeless robots.some of these dehumanized souls were completely devoured by the malicious vultures that encircled in the dark sky above. these vultures were so malicious they even ate the sun. they tore into my porcelain white skin, attacked my golden brown locks, gouged out my sea green eyes all like a midnight snack. these vultures were demonic and ruthless. i screamed but nobody cared. i screamed but nobody could hear because the vultures had eaten out their ears. there was just one half eaten body left and with its last dying breathe it said " RUN, you took the wrong path. get out as soon as you can or you will have no soul, no body, and no life."

i saw the sea of bones that day. i ran and never looked back.

today i am surrounded by lush singing saints because i found the path to heaven. i am surrounded by birds that charm their way into my soul. i see color, i see vibrant life, and i hear words of good cheer. i can taste magic and smell miracles. i can feel jesus touching my heart and, the mechanical mastermind he is, engineering it back to FULL FUNCTION. i know i am healing because i see a future for myself. i know life will continue to shake and shine and i love this life divine.i am a part of this branch of humanity that doesn't turn its back on you. i see and taste love and feel the wind dancing in my core. i am surrounded by this contagious light that creeps up from my toes into my belly and onto my face forcing me to smile. i am alive, i am well... most of all? i am escaping hell with the help of god! its a journey where i hold HIS hand and he helps me escape more and more each day. every time i find myself hanging out in hell or faced with its flames, i know its going to be ok and i know i do not have to stay stuck.

escaping hell
is possible

escape hell?

you decide

die slow or miracle grow

scaredy cats stay floating
like paper thin as air
common talk folk quoting
but stay they unaware
in a mechanical motion
chipping away their care
drinking popular potion
now pillar salted stares
robotic common notions
difference only dares
wont exceed the quotient
uniforms they wear
slather on magic lotion
clothing their skin bare
adam eve fell in the ocean
now standing out is rare

clothed in robes of true revolt
stop to strike a pose
conforming only brings the halt
rags cant be white clothes
face to face with all your faults
show them that you rose
rose from death to heed the call
convicted from head to toe
truth is now your weapon tall
the secret to miracle grow

the mightiest sword: dreams

in between
lies your dreams
the grey matter
that makes you scream
makes your soul fiend

these cracked out dreams
knuckles white like cream
holding tight onto themes
clenching them til they gleam

join team that makes your dreams scream
join team that makes your dreams gleam
join a revolutionary rampaging scheme
and take back this world for your dream

boredom will lose your bets
until you forget the sun that sets
don't wait until your deep in debt
chase your dreams, you global threat
fake not that your happy yet
your poison pills lead to death
remember all the tears and sweat
and grab your strength to fuel your jet

join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream
join the team that makes your dreams scream

join
join
join

the revolution of dreams


“Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”

no benefit in the benefits

its weird. fame is just a role the system plays to control. we fiend the celebrities charisma, intellect,fashion, and individuality. in reality, many times these rock stars (etc)are actually being spoon fed by the system what to rap, think, sing, how to act, and what to ingest. its a sick mess! why are so many of these celebrities selling out? somewhere along the road they got addicted to something! maybe it was the ego boost, the benefits, the fame, or the money. they got hooked and went forth with it instead of realizing it was a trap and turning back to home base.

this is essentially the anthem of many of us 'normal folks' we got addicted to something along the way and we didn't turn back when we found out it was a trap.. we kept on treading deeper and eventually got stuck.

lets not get hooked on the benefits and become controlled by the system! take the road less traveled...the road that leads to a heavenly system.

a million drums

ill feed your guns
one million drums
so we can all
be rhythem stunned
under one sun
of unification
if this could be
what is the sum?
if we just had
one global vision
just one source
it did come from
red beating hearts
feel the source
of the drum
if we could shake
this earthquake
we could maybe
trade pain for fun
and the god of
life would breathe
"it is done"
and we'd march
forth to the gates
of heaven