steady as the moonlight

After work on Wednesday I frantically raced to center city to try and make it in time for a my dear disco show, this groovy band i found one year ago at world live cafe. i was so giddy inside to get re-acquainted with their funky flavor and dance my pants off (or pants me dance off, as was our joke last summer)! i rushed to the Khyber after parking my car only to find out i had no cash.. boo on that. But still determined, I walked over to the corner store and spotted an ATM only to find out I had insufficient funds! Bummers..I thought. Instead of getting negative, however, I summoned my positive spirit to reemerge, thinking to myself "there must be something nifty in store, i guess ill just stroll around the piazza and explore." I strolled through parks and through the cobble stone streets,taking it all in, absorbing the rickety every things. Pondering and people watching as i enjoyed the balmy breeze tickling my skin. This tickle kind of led me to Penn's landing. Penn's landing is the port where the B frank bridge is, and all the ships meditate and mosey. I decidedly did the same. I saw the other side, Camden NJ, looked at the bridge lights changing color, admired the ships in the distance, thought about sailing and the titanic. I noticed how many different types of light there were on the Jersey Buildings. There were super fluorescent ones, the type that zig and zag, and even the type that look almost blue they are so bright. I then noticed the moon and its steady solid stretch across the water, not boastful, just steady. It stretched across in a humble hue of silver excellence. I saw its reflection in comparison to the flashy mirroring types, so many I must add, yet not quite as silently brilliant. The moon's reflection was brilliant because it was the center of all of these lights. The moon's reflection was brilliant because it stretched across. The moon's reflection was brilliant because it showed all the others who was boss. It seemed to feel bold, and I thought how it was probably reflecting just the same no matter where it was. These lights' reflections were only found in the waters of Penn's landing, but the moons was found in the ponds of Alaska, in a Persian fountain, in the Himalayan mountain streams. It could be found anywhere. God spoke to me and said "You see, these lights represent many different paths in life, whether they be religious or lifestyle related.. Focal points you could call them. You have drugs, you have Hinduism, you have philosophy, you have cultural pop Christianity, you have nomadic lifestyle et cetera. Then look at me, I reach all the way to the other side of the water. I may not be as flashy, but I am reliant. I may not be as popular, but I am one and I have no alter ego, no catch, no gimmick. I am one. Anyone can travel on my path. You don't have to be smart, popular, wear hemp pants, a cross around your neck. If you follow me, travel my path, get to know it, you will surely make it to the other side. I look narrow because I am. I am not narrow because I don't want people to travel upon me but because I am not the popular choice. I am like the moon, I GLOW in the night and burn in the day. I am never dark. These lights vanish at day time. These lights need man to power them. I need nobody. I am the alpha and the omega. Look at the stars that shine next to me, you are those stars. Tiny mirrors of the moon. I have a plan for you Dear Kimmy, I have a plan for you... Follow my path and you will see"

God has a plan for you.. Seek his path, his friend ship.. And you will find that the glow of the moon is the best light on earth. Many people get blinded by the lights and confused, there are so many! The moon is always there to guide you. Seek it and you will find it. I saw something bigger than a groovy band that day. I a revelation of God. Nature opens him up to me..Let God reveal himself and . . .

Follow the moon . . .

sea bird in search for air.

i feel like a flock of gritty sea birds searching for unpolluted air. i need to get out of this town, i feel like i am suffocating. it was wonderful while it lasted but it is time to start a new chapter. yes, ill be the first to admit i cant stay put like grandmas pudding. i am a free spirited mess that has got to chase her next dream, her next nomadic destination, her next challenging adventure in order to stay alive. i believe god is calling me to philadelphia to reach out to the soon-to-be lifeless city. i want to catch it before its heart stops beating! it is the city of brotherly love and there is no darn reason it has to stay stuck in the clutches of hate. it is gods city and i plan to take part in winning it back for him!

ill miss you berrien springs, you were beautiful to get to know. its time to say goodbye to all the great nightmares and lovely memories had with you. it was a divine love affair.. i will forever remember it all. goodbye for now....

much love>

apostolic.

its like we are born, blaze through the beginning, fast forward through our youth, and live to make money and maintain. we literally are like rats in some epic attempt to make a point, some sick experiment. slaves to a system that doesn't work yet we are blinded to seeing its flaws. its like we are driving in a tinted car nobody can see inside us, we can only see them. its like we are all invisible robots marching toward death. so perhaps there must be more revolutionaries screaming their anthems on the perfectly paved streets. we need people to wave their rebel flags, ever so kindly, in the faces of the ignorant. we need people to graffiti their message, ever so lovingly, on the hearts of those abandoned ( and abandoning). we need to step up and be the lone drummer boy, marching daringly. does this system really work? look at all the inequality. the western world is a slave to materialism and comfort while the rest of the world looks on in awe. its like we are walking zombies with no soul. what have we become? i want to see a heaven on earth because this is starting to look rather gritty. we all say we are christians but do the poor know who god is? its more than just praying for people and reading your bible. its more than just handing out religious pamphlets hoping that people will reach a new epiphany. it goes beyond all the surface suit wearing preaching and deeper into the heart, deeper into the ghetto of the problem, and into the thicket of this madness. you cant love your notions and ideals, love the idea of love, sit around philosophizing, and ignore the bleeding. who are we saving? this Christianity is a feel good theological thrill. this Christianity is creating cobwebs in the minds of they that have no bed. this Christianity is a false prophet misleading and deceiving the public. who do we love anyway? lets go out and break of love like loaves and fish, multiply it in the hearts of the martyrs, and spread it like hot gooey butter. there are many true Christians out there, whether they are part of an institution or not. Lets take on our burden though because their cross is getting kind of heavy! They too need water, they too need encouragement, they too need cheerleaders, they too need love. Christianity is not about self, its about family. Lets love the poor like they are Jesus himself, lets show the broken Christ through our friendship.

Lets be that gritty apostolic Christianity, we are Gods body.. Lets start walking. There is a beautiful pilgrimage to paradise in store, lets start walking toward it (all together).

boo ya ka sha

s†op searching and s†art deciding

i have all the answers in front of me caught inside that cobweb looming above my head. if i have them in front of me, what is stopping me from reaching up and grabbing them? one word: fear. fear is crippling! what im realizing, however, is that this ugly emotion is evil and there are very few things in life worth fearing. screw it, living in a cave of fear is going to chop me into itty bitty shreds of regret. i do not want to be an old bitter hag one day. this is the biggest fear i should have>> not ever taking chances. so i shall stop searching ( shuffling my feet at the door of faith) and start frikin deciding. soar like a wild, bold, and zany eagle. the sky is the limit baby!

truth is freedom

so im feeling a bit blue today. there is something that is bothering me a ridiculous amount and instead of doing everything i can to move past it and stay positive i am dwelling and blobbing around like a sloth. this past week i was doing pretty great at maintaining my cool. i went jogging excessively and focused on things like laughter and art projects. today i am backsliding heavily, 'crashing and burning as some say. i know that sitting here watching tv all day is only making matters worse...so than why am i still doing it? i think its my feelings. my feelings have me in such a funk that they are crippling me inside. they are being whiny babies that want attention and they want to feel empowered or enlarged. they want to feel like rock stars. its called self pity i suppose. you know what? i am tired of it though. alls i have to do is get off my lazy ass, stop moping, take a walk , or call up a friend. crying about it isnt going to change what is impossible to change! it all lies in the power of choice. these are the unfortunate facts now how am i going ot deal with them? am i going to let them play tic tac toe with my emotions or am i going to take back the steering wheel and be the one in power? the brain can be like a little disobedient child that must be parented. i think im going to choose to do what it takes to feel better even if its by a mere fraction. choose..just choose.

tasty morning

voluntary insomnia is a winner. in a way, it helps me fall deeply in love with the morning sunlight. the peace of the early start. the peace of knowing everyone is sound asleep. the peace of knowing i could waltz around naked if i pleased. it helps me fall in love with the morning i rarely see. i love the way the light shines in and hits my room magnifying all the colors and piercing the souls of my posters. i love the way i feel alive. i hear catching the early sunrays acutally helps give birth to seratonin! yippee. i like this. its just too bad i am this slothy night owl that refuses to wake up before noon unless there is a pressing appointment. i wont even wake up for church! i am happy free soul and no complaints..but what i ought to do is greet the morning more often. life is shorter than i can believe and i dont want to miss out on its magic. the morning is a sliver of lifes magic. mmmm... so is sleep (except for when abused). who knew you could abuse sleep like a drug! crazy talk. i do have lots of wonderful things to be thankful for! god, people, love, sunlight.. my new addiction to running! oh, and laughter is on the top of the list.

i cant wait to continue my journey. life is golden!